Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
