Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
