His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
