Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
