Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize