Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
