I hate your face
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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