Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
