I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
