I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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