We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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