omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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