is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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