Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
