Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
