Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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