this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
