i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
