I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
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