We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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