I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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