our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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