Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
