it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
That accounts for only three of the penises
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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