Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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