Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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