Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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