Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
