The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
BRING THE BAGELS
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
