Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
