First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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