The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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