is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Randomize
