don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
