I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Houston, we have a blender
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
