you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
MIDGETS
????
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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