the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
