i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Your penis caused this!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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