I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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