Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
