So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
