After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
