Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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