turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
