So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She's the barista slut.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
