The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
