I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
