At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
