brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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