just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
