____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize